thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
