but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
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private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
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pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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