my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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