i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
