i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
