I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
