carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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