We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
