I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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