every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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