Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize