So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
