It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
