I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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