Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
