they're staring at me
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?