Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
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At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.