Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
make that 40.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?