I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
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Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
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although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..