She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
