the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
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good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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