he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize