If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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