Heybabeimwearingurpanties
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
