All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Less talking, more tequila
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize