Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
