You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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