you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
