Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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