be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
