hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
