at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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