I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
