oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
