i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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