If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Drake has all the answers
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
