you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
