I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
