wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
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in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
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I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
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