How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
This house was built for laser tag.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize