kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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