Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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