Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
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the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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