Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Randomize