I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
