I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
