just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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