Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
