CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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