I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
