Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
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