My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
only if we run a train.
done.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
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