I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
