did you get engaged???
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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