Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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