whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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