i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize