Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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