we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
You don't make any sense
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