But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
