Where did you get a picture of my penis
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
