everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
