Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I know her cup size but not her name....
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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