I got chris browned last night
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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