Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
