I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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