nut hugger
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
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all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
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That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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