just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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